Alright, listen up, y’all. You wanna know how to make one of them NFL imperialism maps, huh? It ain’t rocket science, I tell ya. Just gotta follow some simple steps, like makin’ a good ol’ apple pie. Only this pie is made of football teams and land, not apples and sugar.
First off, you gotta get yourself a map. Not just any map, mind you. You need a map of the United States. Big enough to see all the states, ya hear? You can probably find one online, or maybe in one of them dusty old atlases your grandpappy left in the attic.
Now, you gotta divvy up that map. See, there’s 32 NFL teams, and each one needs a piece of land to start with. It’s like givin’ each kid a slice of cake, only this cake is America. The easiest way to do it, I reckon, is to give each team the land closest to their home stadium. So, the Packers get Wisconsin, the Cowboys get Texas, and so on. Simple as that. You can mark it up with different colors, one color for each team. Make it nice and pretty, or don’t. Your map, your rules, I always say.
- Get a US map
- Divide the map into 32 regions
- Assign each region to an NFL team based on stadium location
Okay, so now you got your map all set up, with each team sittin’ pretty on their own little patch of land. This is where the fun starts. See, the whole point of this imperialism thing is that teams can steal each other’s land. It’s like a big ol’ game of king of the hill, only with football.
Here’s how it works. Every week, them football teams play games, right? Well, if a team wins a game, they get to take the loser’s land. Yep, all of it. Let’s say the Patriots beat the Jets. Well, the Patriots, they get to take all the Jets’ land and add it to their own. The Jets, they’re out. Wiped off the map, just like that. It’s a dog-eat-dog world, this football thing, I tell ya.
So, every week, you gotta update your map. After each game, you gotta see who won and who lost, and then you gotta move the land around accordingly. It can be a bit of a chore, I ain’t gonna lie. But it’s kinda fun too, seein’ them territories grow and shrink and change hands. It’s like watchin’ a real-life game of Risk, only with football players instead of little plastic army men.
You keep doin’ this week after week, all through the season. And as the season goes on, some teams will get bigger and bigger, gobblin’ up more and more land. And some teams, well, they’ll just disappear off the map altogether. It all depends on who wins and who loses. That’s the beauty of it, see? It’s unpredictable. Just like life, I guess.
Now, I ain’t no fancy computer whiz or nothin’. Some folks use computers to make these maps, I hear. They write fancy scripts and all that jazz. But me? I like to do things the old-fashioned way. With a map, some colored pencils, and a good ol’ football schedule. It’s more personal that way, ya know? You get to feel like you’re really part of the action.
So, there you have it. That’s how you make an NFL imperialism map. It ain’t hard, just takes a little bit of time and effort. But it’s a fun way to follow the football season and see who’s really the king of the hill. And remember, keep it simple, don’t get bogged down in all them fancy details. Just have fun with it, that’s what matters. And who knows, maybe you’ll even learn a little somethin’ about geography along the way. Or maybe not. Either way, it’s a good way to pass the time, especially when the weather’s too cold to go outside and do somethin’ useful. Now go on and make yourself a map, and don’t forget to share it with your friends and neighbors. They might get a kick out of it too.
One more thing, this here map ain’t just about football. It’s about winnin’ and losin’, about power and territory. It’s a reflection of life, in a way. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. Sometimes you’re the king, sometimes you’re the one gettin’ your land stolen. But the important thing is to keep fightin’, keep playin’, keep tryin’ to get back on top. That’s the spirit of football, and that’s the spirit of America, I reckon.
Tags: [NFL, Football, Map, Imperialism, Sports, USA, Teams, Geography, Weekly, Games]
