Alright, listen up, y’all! I’m gonna tell ya how to play this here “Untitled Boxing Game”, even if I don’t know much about these fancy video games. My grandson, he plays it all the time, and I watch him, so I kinda picked up a thing or two.
First things first, ya gotta learn how to throw a punch, right? I mean, it’s boxing, not knitting! They got these buttons, see? M1 is for the quick jabs, like when you’re tryin’ to shoo away a fly. M2, that’s the heavy hitter, like when you’re slammin’ the door on a salesman. You gotta mix ’em up, ya know? Can’t just keep jabbin’ like a woodpecker, gotta surprise ’em with the big one sometimes. This game, they call it “punishing” with M2 or “White Fang”. Whatever that means.
- M1: Quick jabs, like pitter-patter rain.
- M2: Heavy punch, like a thunderclap!
Now, just punchin’ ain’t gonna win ya nothin’. You gotta be smart about it, like when you’re bargaining at the market. You gotta watch your opponent, see what they’re gonna do. It’s like they say, “gamesense” and being “unpredictable”. Fancy words for just payin’ attention and not bein’ a predictable ol’ fool. If you can figure out their next move, that’s when you can really clobber them.
And dodgin’, oh lordy, dodgin’ is important! You can’t just stand there like a scarecrow, lettin’ them beat ya to a pulp. You gotta move, ya gotta sway, ya gotta duck. And get this, they got this fancy “perfect dodge” thing. My grandson says you gotta dodge in the same direction as the punch. So if they swingin’ from the right, you dodge to the right. Sounds kinda backwards to me, but what do I know? When you do it right, the screen goes all black and white and slow-motiony. It’s like watchin’ a bad TV show with the reception goin’ out.
Then there’s all these special moves, like those fancy cocktails they serve in the city. I don’t understand half of ’em, but my grandson, he’s always yellin’ about them. Somethin’ about tappin’ this button then tappin’ that button. Like, tap M1 then the special button, and you go into somethin’ called “Hitman mode”. Sounds dangerous, right? Or tap dash then special, and you do this lean-back thing. Tap M2 then special, and it’s a “smash”. Sounds like what I wanna do to those noisy crows outside my window at 5 AM! From my observation they say to do this for special moves, but kids these days always mashing buttons.
They got this thing called “Bullet” too. It’s like a counter move, whatever that is. Some folks say it ain’t good, but my grandson uses it, and he seems to do alright. It’s annoying for the other fellers too, like he gets them stuck and they can’t do nothin’ about it. Folks say, like the game says. I don’t know what the game says, never saw it speakin’ myself. Sounds like a mean way to win, gettin’ ’em all stuck and helpless, but hey, it’s a fight, ain’t it? No room for bein’ nice in the boxing ring, just like there ain’t no room for politeness at a church potluck.
So, lemme sum it up for ya. You gotta punch, you gotta dodge, and you gotta learn them special moves. And most importantly, you gotta watch your opponent and be smart about it. Don’t just go swingin’ wildly like a windmill in a hurricane. Think, plan, and then BAM! Hit ’em where it hurts. This helps with your “gamesense” so they say. It’s all about outsmartin’ them other fellers, just like tryin’ to get the best tomatoes at the farmer’s market. You gotta be quicker, sharper, and a little bit sneaky, to be like a pro. And remember, if a ol’ lady like me can understand this much, then you young whippersnappers can sure as heck figure it out too. Now get out there and knock ’em out!
